Wednesday, December 10, 2008

It's hard...

Being a pastor's wife.
Thank goodness that my God and my husband don't expect me to be perfect but, man, sometimes I think life would be so much easier if Travis and I weren't in ministry. Then, I quickly realize that if we weren't in ministry, life would be really bad because we would be disobeying God- and that's never a good thing!
I am not complaining about being Travis' wife. What I am talking about are the difficult people that my husband has to deal with, the hurting people that he has to comfort, and the expectations that people think that pastors and their families need to live up to. Travis (and MOST other pastors) carry the burdens of so many people that it is hard to have just a day to relax. Actually I think relaxation is a foreign word to most pastors. People just don't get what it means to be a pastor. Everything they, and their families deal with and the sacrifices that are made. I was told once that "as a pastor's wife you don't have to perfect, just be yourself and be who God has called you to be. Don't try to impress people by putting on a mask and acting different at church or around church people than you would at home." I have taken that to heart (most of the time...I do bite my tongue once in a while...) so if you think that I am not living up to your expectations of a pastor's wife...sorry. Too bad, get over it :) I love being a pastor's wife but it is hard!

Being parents.
First let me just say, that I love being a mom! Bria is the biggest blessing to us and our family. It's just hard when it suddenly starts down pouring and you are getting the car seat out of the car. You're wet, baby is wet, diaper bag is wet, inside of the car is wet. That's no fun.
It's hard when you are completely exhausted and your baby decides she is hungry at 2am. Or she wants mommy to hold her all the time. Some people think I am cruel when I tell them that I let Bria just cry sometimes. I am sorry but seriously, if I ran to my crying 7 month old every time she whimpered I'm not sure I would make it as a mom. Yes, I have learned to tune crying out. I know my baby. I know when she needs me and I know when she doesn't. Again, sorry I'm not perfect :)
It's hard being parents because just as soon as you've got something about your baby figured out, it changes. Bria is growing so fast and changing as she grows that we can't keep up! Love being a mom, but this blog has taken me an hour and a half to write!

Living far away from family.
North Carolina is where I have wanted to live since I was a freshman in college and now, here we are, in North Carolina. We have found a new family living here in Charlotte, but around this time of year it is harder for me to live 14 hours away from my parents and 2000 miles away from my brother. I miss them especially around the holidays. I wish I could have gone with my mom to her doctors appointments over the last few weeks, I wish I could have celebrated my half-brother's 13th birthday with him, I wish I could be there with my grandmother, aunt, and mom on Thanksgiving (I missed Grammy's cooking this year!!). Why can't every one move to NC? :) I am thankful for our new family and friends that we have found here, but there is nothing like true family. I can't wait to fly to Maine on Christmas day to see family! I love them home we have made here, but it's hard being so far away from home.


Catherine said...

Kristin - you are a wonderful example of a pastor's wife. I admire all you and Travis have done at R2C2 and all the sacrifices you have made. I know there are many nights when you would rather be home with Travis & Bria, but ministry calls. You willingly give of yourself and Travis so students can meet Christ. And if anyone criticizes you, send them to me. I'll gladly stand in your corner, any day! Love you guys!

Carol Bateman said...

Kristin -- That was such a great blog. I love your honesty. You and Travis are a blessing to each other, to RRCC and to all of the students you both serve. You are both changing lives, and you are both admired and loved so much by so many. I can also appreciate your thoughts on parenting. I'm not sure it ever gets easier -- the challenges change, but being a parent is the hardest job there is ~~ definitely the most rewarding, though. I, too, wished I lived closer to my family. It's espeically hard during the holidays. Luckily, Lonnie has plenty of family to make up for that within a couple hours' drive (but not sure how good that is...LOL). Love ya ~~ Carol :-)